My husband and I have been in the process of short selling our home since August 2015. We simply outgrew our one bedroom condo and owe far more than we could ever hope to sell. Believe me…there is nothing short about this process.
The mortgage company has been less than stellar to work with and has seemed all to happy to slow the process down at every turn…I’ll just leave it at.
Dealing with the company last week was the worst and I.lost.it.
I shared my anger on my personal Facebook profile.
I shared my frustration with my prayer group.
I even filed a complaint with the BBB.
My words were very calculated, but I decided to be “real” with two people. My husband and my Realtor (who is also my friend).
We all have those one or two people with whom we can be completely open and honest. There’s no fear of judgment and you can literally share anything with them. Having friends and loved ones you can be authentic with is a gift worth more than gold.
But in choosing to be real, I also chose to be weak. I never said anything out loud, but boy howdy did my fingers do the talking!
What do I mean? Let’s put it this way. If any of my youth, students, confirmation kids, parents, church members, or whoever else had read my choice of words, I would be sorely embarrassed and ashamed. (Did I mention my awesome Realtor is also a member of my church and one of my confirmation moms?? Her reaction, by the way, was completely grace-filled even though I certainly wasn’t.)
Even if my anger was justified, my reaction did not glorify.
There are a number of things I should have done instead of texting expletives.
- Talk with God. Facepalm right now. Seriously? Why is this not the first thing I did!!?? God asked me the same question as I read Gwen Smith’s wise words from #IWantItAll pg 117-120…and again in her devotion on Girlfriends in God…that SAME day. Double heart whammy!
- Take a walk. Believe me, I needed to cool off, especially after getting off the phone with the mortgage company. I was livid.
- Turn on the news. I got worked up over something that pales in comparison to the atrocities in this world. #firstworldproblems right?
- Turn the pages of the Bible. Need I say more?
I can’t go back. Words once spoken or sent cannot be retrieved. Harsh words bring destruction and Ephesians 4:29 calls us to share words that are “good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Matthew 12:36-37 is even less forgiving when it comes to careless words like the ones I chose to speak (mega ouch). My words were faaaaar from grace-filled and my mouth was in need of a good old fashioned soap washing.
I can only pray that next time, I will choose to be real without being weak. Something I’ve been trying to keep in the forefront of my mind…since last week…is the acronym T.H.I.N.K. I’ve seen it here and there so I snagged a graphic from the wonders of the internet:
What I’m thinking may be true, but if it’s neither kind nor necessary, then I need to make sure it doesn’t travel from my brain to my mouth, fingertips, or worse…my heart. Gwen Smith has a shorter acronym called K.U.T. I learned from her new book #IWantItAll, but I’ll save that nugget for a later date.
We all have those moments when we simply blow it big time, but thanks be to God He forgives and renews our hearts when we do mess up. How about you? When was the last time you chose to T.H.I.N.K. before you spoke? Did you conquer that temptation, or fall into it instead?